Hi, my name is D and this is my writings on subjects. I'm no rapscallion or anything at all. If you want to you can read my writings on subjects if you have free time. If you want to argue with me or call me names then please comment. Negative feedback is very welcome...I love dat shit. Me? I'm not even a noun, I'm a fucking verb, dude.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Hey psychopaths! Get a fucking life! (and please don't murder me, I don't wanna die!)

Everyday is a new craziness. Personally, I don't think society is more dangerous or more violent than any other century ... I mean we had two World Wars in the previous century which were pretty violent ... so, yeah, I think our current society is still WAY LESS violent than any previous epoch.

With the rise of media, where all situations are amplified and in many cases recorded for people to view ... it does at times feel like we live in the most violent era instead of the least violent era of history.

That's fine. Media is doing their job of reporting the facts of the matter, more power to them. Do I think the attention given to psychopaths leads to copy-cat attacks though? Yes, I do, I wrote about that once I think too:

This one: Too Much Media Attention for Crazies?

I still think if there was more attention on the victims and interviews with the victim's families in the aftermaths of these events that it would be more professional than obsessing over why a psychopath did psychopathic things. I think giving a spotlight to these people leads to copy-cat attacks.

The other thing that is stupid about these events is the instant politicization of them for some political agenda. Donald Trump tweeted a congratulatory self pat-on-back after a recent event, saying "I told you so - shoulda listened to me" type thing. I don't think patting yourself on the back after a mass murder is a normal thing to do, I don't think the politicization of these attacks is intelligent either.

Basically, what happens now is after one of these everyone sits tight and waits for the information to come out on what background the crazy is and you get people sitting at home all like ....

All White People: "I hope it wasn't a white dude, it's gonna make us all look bad."
All Black People: "I hope it wasn't a black dude, it's gonna make us all look bad."
All Arab People: "I hope it wasn't a arab dude, it's gonna make us all look bad."
All Whatever Else People: "I hope it wasn't a whatever else dude, it's gonna make us all look bad."

I think psychopaths belong to their own group and it's called Psychopaths. People have to remember just still how rare these events are even though they are magnified more than other eras. I don't think a Psychopath is a good representative of a community of folks ... except as a rep for other Psychos.


I was reading some articles the other day on stats of the events of mass shootings. Trying to apply some sort of science to understand it.

Articles like this one: http://acsh.org/news/2016/07/03/predicting-who-will-become-mass-shooters/

The stats for mass shootings in America plot the Psychopaths as so:

95% are Male.
66% are White.
50% are over 30 years of age.

Women rarely do it, white folks are the leaders by far (but since 70% of America is white this makes sense), and most of the people are over 30 years of age.

The shooters are always lonely, violent, angry people who blame the world for their problems. That's the facts, the "backgrounds" of these people are incredibly similar. At this point we know what these people are. They are very violent psychopaths that cannot cope with the stress of life. That's what they are, in every single case. They are crazy fools.

With the most recent case in Nice, everyone is all over the the Muslims again, and look I'm not religious and actually don't like organized religion and surely am not a big huge fan of the Islam, but it's not entirely warranted.

The man in Nice fits the above mold, a Male over 30, who was isolated and unable to cope with stress. People said he drank, did drugs, and ate pork ... so I'm pretty sure he wasn't a very devout Muslim. Did he probably read some dopey ISIS shit on the internet? Yeah, probably. Most shooters are into conspiracy theories and other wackiness.

I don't think people like this represent the Arab population, I do not think so. I don't even think ISIS/ISIL itself represents the Arab population. ISIS/ISIL is a band of drug dealing bandits, and most Arabs HATE them more than we do. They hate them more than we do because they have to live with them and deal with them more frequently than we do.

Every community has their bandits. The Italians have the mafia, the Whites have the hell's angels and others, the Blacks have their street gangs, the chinese have the triad, and everyone else has their drug dealing murderous bandits.

We don't seem to make bandits the identifying face of other communities though. Arabs seem really defined by their bandits in this current age ... but you'd never see Trump or anyone on stage saying things like ...

"Until this Mafia thing is stopped ... we gotta deport all Italians."


"Until this Hell's Angels thing is stopped ... we gotta deport all White People."


"Until this Chicago Street Gang thing is stopped ... we gotta deport all Black People."

You wouldn't hear that about other groups ... but you hear that all the time about Arabs. Arabs are defined by their bandits. But, similarly to other communities ... the amount of bandits amongst their peoples is a very very very small percentage ... and believe me, Arabs hate their bandits way more than we do ... because they have to deal with them every single day.

Copy Cats

I still believe the media attention surrounding these events leads to more events. Humans are so much dumber than you think. They are monkey-see and monkey-do creatures more than you can ever believe. Other psychos see this attention and go "Hey, that could be ME they are talking about!", these are physically isolated, mentally isolated, impressionable people who desperately seek attention.

The media attention given to these psychopathic pieces of garbage is insane.

Two high profile psycho murders that happened in my area were made into movies ... Polytechnique, and Karla. Why? Do people want to watch a movie about this? Why? What for. So now pyschos not only get around the clock media attention ... but now they get Movies made about them too? How famous should they be?

Honestly, I don't think either of those two movies should have gotten made. It's not like any of the profits were donated to victims families either .... so not only did they make the killers more famous ... the film makers profited off of the events for their own financial gain. Good for fucking you.

Good people deserve bio-pics ... not bad people. Make a movie about the person who invented the telephone, or make a movie about the guy who invented the airplane or something .... don't make movies about these stupid psychos.


Everyone wants to know what was "going on in these people's heads" , well the obsession can end now because I'll tell you ....

.... These psychopaths are just childish, spoiled bratty people who want fame. They have no respect for anyone or anything but themselves. They are horrible people who do not deserve movies made about them. Why did they do it? Because they suck. There ... case closed.

They are not representative of whatever race or religion or background they are from. The only "race" or "religion" they represent is that of Psychopaths.

In conclusion, please don't murder me or anyone else Crazy People. You're a buncha stupid assholes.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Great Film Icon, Bud Spencer, Passes Away....

I have pretty strange tastes when it comes to the arts ... I really must say. Especially when it comes to movies. I like "Bad" movies ... I looooooove Bad Movies, and I've even tried to rationalize as to why on two occasions here over the years:

1. The Science Behind Why Bad Movies are Good (Sept. 2011)

2. Re-Visting QPE (June 2015)

Wow, 2011, I've been writing these silly articles in this thing for a long time now. I'm gonna throw that QPE Stupid Graph back up here and re-talk about it:

Basically, I think that It's a very U-shaped situation when it comes to Stupidity in movies. If you make a movie that has no Stupid at all (the Stupid on the graph above is the horizontal axis so no stupid is on the furthest left point labeled there as "1") ... then your movie is good. As it starts to increase in the stupidity it gets worse and drops in Goodness .... a really dumb movie that is no-good is labelled up there as "2".

Alright, but what happens if the movie is Really Stupid? What if the people making don't give a fuck and just go with it and enjoy it and embrace the Stupid? Then the Goodness starts to Re-Rise and hit "3"!

Then "4" and then "5"! The best movies, according to me anyway, are ones that are surreal in how stupid they are.

I don't even know why I'm like this. I just have bad taste in movies, that's all. I have bad taste in everything. I cannot explain it, I really can't. How does a human start thinking stupid movies are good? It just happens ... like one day you're laughing at how bad some shitty movie is and next thing you know all you ever want to watch is hilarious stupid shit. It just sorta happens, like one night you go to bed as a normal person ... and then the next morning you wake up and are just enamored with ridiculous nonsense. I can't explain why I'm this way ... it's not even my fault ... it just happened. You  just open your eyes one day and just want your entertainment to be comprised of only silly shit. You start realizing things like "Rocket Man" starring Harland Williams is a MASTERPIECE and your favorite recording artist is HEINO!

I love "Bad" movies, I do.

Rest in Peace Bud Spencer

If you're a fan of "Bad" movies like I am and you've never had the experience of seeing a Bud Spencer film then you are really depriving yourself. His work, along side his tag-team partner Terence Hill are some of the .... um ..... the ...... I don't even know how to describe them.

Bud Spencer was born Carlo Pedersoli and as a youth was a talented swimmer in Italy. As he got older he retired from swimming and tried his hand at acting. He chose his screen name of "Bud Spencer" because he was a fan of Spencer Tracy ... and of Budweiser Beer. 

He wanted to be a Hollywood star ... but in Italy. It seemed like a strange way to go about things but thus was born an Icon. He and Terence Hill made American style movies like Westerns, Cop Movies, and Redneck Beat-em-Ups ... in Italy.

Why? Who knows.... I guess some fun people who grew up in Italy and loved Hollywood movies and Shaw Brothers Kung Fu movies looked at each other one day and said ... "Hey it'd be fun to make our own!" and so they did ... and they were something, these movies. They were something ... or other.

How to describe it. It's like ... you know when a movie is trying to depict a different culture but the actors aren't part of that culture and something just seems off? I'm sure like when Asians watch a Tom Cruise samurai movie ... they are thinking something is off, you know? In regards to Bud Spencer movies ... for an American to watch American culture but through the lens of Italy ... it's just a bit off for us. It seems odd and funny to us.

Here, maybe this video can help explain the phenomenon. This is an Italian man who doesn't speak English but is singing an "American" song (he starts singing around 1:25 ish in the video below), 

....this is just an example of "America through the Lens of Italy":

Something seems off right? It's weird. Bud Spencer movies aren't as pronounced as this video of the man singing is ... but it's like that ... it's America through the lens of Italy ... and it's just slightly odd.

I've never really seen these films talked about much by other sources of Bad Movie Likers ... the way I found out about the Legendary Bud Spencer was when I found a DVD in a Wal Mart bargain bin over a decade ago called "The Sheriff and the Satellite Kid." It looked interesting, I must say, as I tossed aside other $2 crap movies like "WaterWorld" or the "The Postman" that you couldn't pay me to buy .... there it was ... "Satellite Kid" ....

...I had never heard of this. The art didn't look like anything I remember from the 80s. I had never heard of this name "Bud Spencer" .... so I turned the DVD case around and looked at the other names involved and NONE OF THEM sounded even the least bit Americany. You'd think people associated with a guy named Bud Spencer would be American, but no, the back of the DVD had names like:

Directed by: Alredo Fedecine Alfredo
Written by: Luigio Papalogusi
Key Grip: Carmine Ragusa

What? I'm thinking ... what the hell is this thing? In the end it was what I described it as above, it's people in Italy who wanted to make an American movie and they had about 10 grand all together to make it .... and it's so weird.

I saw the dubbed version so I don't know how good the original version is  .... but the dub is so funny. He's this Sheriff guy who befriends a child from outer space and they get into a buncha hyjinx and whatnot. They gave him a southern template for the audio dub in English but he doesn't really have a southern accent ... he just says southerny sounding words. I think they told the guy to dub the audio in the vein of Foghorn Leghorn. An example of the dialogue would be something like:

"Hey kid ... that's some mighty strange magic you got there, I say, what're those high falutin' gadgets?"

It's dubbed so bad you think you're watching a Shaw Brothers Kung Fu movie ... it's so "Bad" .... I love it. They are so good. I love all these movies they made. There's so many of them too. Spencer is 99% of the time teamed up with Terence Hill in them ... sometimes they are Cops, sometimes Pirates, sometimes Western gun slingers. One thing that's always certain though ... is Spencer n' Hill are gonna find there way into some loveable trouble.

The only reference by anyone in media I've ever seen to these wonderful Italian films, in any form, was on an episode of Eastbound and Down where they briefly watch a clip from the film Super Fuzz (which is a Terence Hill stand alone vehicle ... Bud Spencer does not appear in it) ... a scene where Terence Hill breaks out of an electric chair and then nose dives like a missile into a nearby lake.

Super Fuzz makes NO SENSE. Terence Hill is a cop who's a loose cannon and constantly getting in trouble with the police chief (Ernest Borgnine!) ... but things really get hairy when he is dispatched to a marsh to fight alligators .... when luck would have it ... a NUCLEAR BOMB is dropped on him and the alligator .... which gives Terence Hill super powers.

I can't believe Super Fuzz is only rated 6 on IMDB ... it's a genuine 8 or even a 9. It even has the added bonus of having its theme song written by someone who only knew a handful of words in English so you get great lyrics like ... "He is a Super, really Super Super, because he's Super Super!" What a great friggin' movie.

He's a Super Super ... really Super Doopah!!!! But he looks you and meee!

Oh my gosh. They don't make movies this "good" anymore. Super Fuzz is a damned Masterpiece. It honestly really is.


Rest in Peace, Bud Spencer, you were truly a Screen Icon ... and if anyone reading is a fan of "Bad" movies ... I can almost guarantee you will Love Bud Spencer and Terence Hill movies ... they are truly unique. Truly unique cinematic creations ....I must say.

Rest in Peace, Bud.

Monday, June 6, 2016


The world is a world of specification and specialization. Some argue we've entered a world of Over-Specialization where people over-focus on one field/subject/skill/trade and never look into others ... which in turn leaves the individual narrow-minded and beholden to an echo-chamber of their own hyper specialization.

You're good at something ... and that's ALL you are good at.

You are smart at some field ... and that's ALL you are smart at.

You are talented at some skill ... and that's ALL you are talented at.

These hyper-specified skills then become your own personal identity, as you start to refer to yourself by your specification.... you're a basketball player, or a machinist, or a politician .... and that then becomes YOU, that is who you are. You are your specialization.

You are nothing more than an echo-chamber of the specification you have chosen to be. You are nothing short of a narrow-minded walking Human-Prison.

...and when you die? What will they say? They will say, Rest in Peace Basketball Player, Rest in Peace Machinist, and Rest in Peace Politician. That's what they will say.

Is there a way to break free from hyper-specification and narrow-lifedness of one's own Human Life? I think so.

There must be an example of a human being who lived a life that crossed into so many echo-chambers, so many areas, so many continents, so many fields, and participated in so many skills. If this example exists, if there has been a historic example of an Omni-Talent .... would there then be hope that humanity will break out of the constrained world of Hyper-Specialization? Yes.

It would take a unique human to be able to engage themselves in so many facets of Life that they could approach the title of Omni-Talent. You'd have to engage in such a variety of the facets of Life such as....


Training the body day and night to become a well oiled pugilist capable of standing toe-to-toe and mano-y-mano with anyone from the biggest brute to the stealthiest fist assassin.

Being able to win championships, Olympic honors, and many an accolade as you float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. Jiving, dodging, and re-jiving at the blink of an eye and jabbing at the speed of light.

Political Activism

One would have to also have talent in the Political realm by standing up for what they believe is right ... even if that involved throwing an Olympic Medal into the Ohio River .... even if involved losing your titles and being imprisoned.

To make a mark in this field is very difficult because it can quickly change you from Champion into Villain in the blink of an eye. Unlike a boxing ring where the best pugilist wins, the realm of Politics is one where the answers are not as easily found and sometimes when you get the right answer ... someone just changes the question. To succeed and make a lasting historical mark in this field is incredibly difficult.


Tackling the world of Religion is unusually difficult for it's rife with nonsense and obstructions galore. For someone to leave a mark on the world of Religion would take a great deal of thinking. To take in all the many different texts of all the World Religions and forming an interesting opinion that would leave a mark on the world for the Future Generations would take a great mind indeed.

The world of Religion is so strange and ripe with nonsense that to have an interesting take on it is greatly difficult. An Omni-Talent would have to be able to tackle the "touchy thang" of Religion too.


The Arts take many a form and it is actually the easiest field in many a sense to become talented at because the benchmarks are left quite wide open. You can paint, draw, make movies, make music, make macaroni landscapes on construction paper ... it's a vast world. To be good at art ... you just gotta find something you like and get out there and jam. If you're good at talking then maybe your art can even be talking.

Maybe your mark on the Art World could be just talking in rhymes to musical accompaniment. What should you talk about... Well, If you're talented at talking about how bad-ass a person you are ... then maybe that can be your Art.

Judging by the music world today, millions of people have made music based on themselves rhyming about how bad-ass they are ... it's called Rap Music. Now a days it's accompanied by electronic beats instead of Liberace ... but it's still in the same vein.

Did Ali invent Rap? It's debate-able but it's possible to argue that he very well might of.


Is there a way to break free from the hyper-specification and narrow-lifedness of one's own Human Life? Yes, it is possible.

It is possible to be an Omni-Talent.

Rest in Peace Muhammad Ali.......Omni Talent.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Baseball: Trots

His Trots? Oh, they dictated that shit....
"My trots dictated that something like that might happen." 
 -Jeffrey the Hack Man Leonard

Oh man, everyone is talking 'bout trots these days. Left and right. Trots this and Trots that. Oh my goodness.

What are "trots"? That's just when a homerun is hit and the player proceeds to make a big deal about enjoying that homerun. He gets to go around all the bases, and then touch home plate ... and he has all the time in the world to do so. Some guys savor it up and take their time trotting around the bases (as such).

Everybody in the news talking about trots now. Goose Gossage, Mike Schmidt, et al..... My goodness. The old school guard is up in literal arms over this Trots situation.

Trots have always been of a National Importance and of a News Inducing caliber ... yet in the wake of Jose Bautista's "bat flip" in the last ALCS and some other incidents (including the press surrounding Korean players who love bat flippin' and trottin' down in their league).

Look, Trots are serious, okay man? As the Hackman has stated.... Trots can dictate that things might happen. If you're not familiar with the 1987 NLCS series, Mr. Leonard caught himself on human fire, went on an offensive tear, and topped it off by celebrating a homerun with something called the "One Flap Down Trot" .... as seen in this highlight reel:

"The Flap Down meant that pitch .... was Nothing."

If he had that flap down as he circled the bases after a homerun .... it meant the pitch that was thrown to him just then was literally Nothing. Like his number Double-Zero on his back ... Nothing At All.

Trots are nothing new ... but if you read the news stories these days you'd think Jose Bautista and some Korean guy invented homerun celebrations/taunts.

Two news stories are of interest as of late in regards to this article:

1. NERDS ARE RUINING BASEBALL!!!!!! According to Goose Gossage.

2. Mike Schmidt sounds off on trots...

Two old-schoolers/microphone-rulers are sounding off about the young players these days and their effronterous behavior when it comes to Trots.

Nerds are Ruining Baseball 

In a flagrantly f-word fueled rant the other week, Hall of Famer Goose Gossage took the utmost of umbrage to two aspects of the current situation of baseball in this most current of eras.

In the Hall of Famer pitcher's wild tirade he stated that "Nerds" are ruining baseball by trying to turn the great game into some sort of robotic statistical simulation. He cursed these terrible nerds for attempting to ruin baseball with their sweaty and stinky analytics and calculators.

Whether or not stinky/smelly Idiotic Nerds are ruining Baseball is not the current topic of this article so let's not go into that any further. That argument possibly has some important merit to it but we're talking 'bout trots now, ok?

Goose Gossage, the relief pitching legend, claimed in the salty-tirade that Jose Bautista's homerun celebration in the ALCS was a disgraceful act. Bautista's "bat-flip" and long look at his homerun against the Kansas City Royals was interpreted by Mr. Gossage as being of the utmostly outrageous in terms of personal demeanor.

He went on to claim that "all those guys in Toronto" are like that... they're all a bunch of idiotic nerds!

Bat Flip. na-na-na-na-na-na, Bat flip! bat flip! bat flip!!
Is he right? Is he wrong? I don't know, maybe he is. Alls I know is .... Goose Gossage talking mad smack about Toronto...

....made me very envious of Toronto.

I'm Canadian but grew up and live in Montreal, and we lost our team more than a decade ago. For Toronto and the Blue Jays to have this much heat over some trots... it just makes me wish we had a team again in Montreal even badder. It makes me deep in my heart wish we had a team here again WAY more badder. It doesn't bother me that Goose Gossage is angry at Toronto and the Blue Jays .... because deep down I wish Goose Gossage was angry at the Expos. I wish we still had some of that.....

We want trot heat. We miss trot heat. Why can't Montreal have any of that good flagrant trot heat? We want trot heat too, you know....

Mike Schmidt versus Ellis Valentine

A week or so after Goose Gossage's angry swear-filled assault on Toronto and on Nerds, the great Home Run King and Legend, Mr. Mike Schmidt penned an article for the Associated Press in which he echoes Goose's statements about the antics of the New Generation.
Vintage Trot Heat. Legend versus Legend.

So here I am, in the baseball-less wasteland of Montreal wishing we still had Major League Baseball over here ... and I'm jealous as filthy sin that the stupid Blue Jays of Toronto have Trot Heat out of the wazoo ... just wishing that even a simple slither or a small smidgen of Trot Heat could still somehow find its way to my beautiful home-city and Baseball-Less town of Montreal....

When Lo and Behold, One Michael Jack Shmidt pens an op-ed for the Associated Press which not only claims that Toronto Blue Jays star Jose Bautista's trot was a disgrace but he goes on to state that an event which occurred in Canada over THIRTY YEARS AGO was also a huge disgrace.

Mike Schmidt states in the piece,

"The Expos had a player named Ellis Valentine in the '80s. Great talent, power, speed, maybe the best throwing arm I've ever seen. We were acquaintances from competing over the years, so I considered him someone with whom I could speak. One day early in his career, at Olympic Stadium, he hit a home run and proceeded to trot around the bases as slowly as humanly possible. The trot included a little Reggie Jackson touch, he held nothing back.

Later in the game, he was on third base and I couldn't resist saying, 'I guess you're not planning on hitting many home runs, trots like that are for guys who don't.'"

-Mike Schmidt

The Expos? Olympic Stadium? Wait.... Mike Schmidt is calling out Trots from more than thirty years ago!?

Thank you so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I KNEW SOME TROT HEAT COULD STILL FIND ITS WAY HERE! I just knew it! I never gave up hope! I knew deep down we'd still have Trot Heat! I never gave up hope.

Thankfullness and gratitude aside .... Mr. Schmidt proceeds as an aside in the article to state that maybe once he himself did engage in this by doing the "running man" dance of "running in place" after a homerun but he claims he never engaged in any overly effefronterous trots.

Yet, one must ask ... was that "running man" trot as benign as Mike Schmidt claims it to be? The proof must be in the pudding, as they say.

Mr. Ellis Valentine himself took the Twitter-Sphere yesterday to make a counter-claim that not only does he not recall Mike Schmidt telling him that at Olympic Stadium on the day in question but also Mr. Valentine located an animated gif of....

.....Mike Schmidt's Running Man Trot!

Along with the hashtag of "hypocrite" Mr. Valentine provides a link to an animated GIF of One Mike Schmidt engaging in said "running man Trot" which Schmidt brushed off as quite reserved in his Associated Press article on Trots. Now let's view the GIF in question....


Oh my gooooodness. What do we have here? A simple reserved "running man trot" as described in Schmidt's essay or something much more audacious?

In slow motion we can plainly see the following:

1. A gigantic two handed clap
2. A vigorous fist pump
3. A shorter fist pump
4. A series of motions which, as described in the article, would be regarded as "running in place"

The question now at the heart of the matter is the following...

....was Philadelphia Phillies Third Baseman and Baseball Icon Mike Schmidt's trot of an overtly gregarious and brazen nature? In the slowed down GIF provided by Mr. Ellis Valentine .... the conclusive answer is and only can be ....

....Yes, it was. It was a brazen and gregarious act. Those actions told the pitcher who threw that ball to him that the pitch meant Nothing to him. Nothing at All.


Are Nerds ruining baseball? Maybe, we'll have to look into that another time though.

Did Jose Bautista's bat-flip offend many many people and bring scorn and disflavor to the city of Toronto? YES!

Am I Envious of Toronto's Trot Heat? Yes, I am.

Did Mike Schmidt's article warm my heart, when in a time where I wished Montreal had Trot Heat like Toronto does, he brought said Trot Heat to Montreal like a Timely Rain? Yes.

Yet is Mike Schmidt justified in Condemning the Actions of Mr. Ellis Valentine when he himself engaged in Trots as shown via twitter by Ellis Valentine? NO, Mike Schmidt is NOT justified.

Did Jeffrey "Hackman" / "Penitentiary-Face" Leonard dictate the doings of which transpired during the 1987 NLCS due to his trots? YES. Yes, he did. His trots indeed dictated the events which transpired. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

American Election Power Rankings

I'm not a citizen of the USA, so I don't want to attempt to write satirical stuff about them too much. I don't vote in this election so why should I make fun of it? It doesn't have to do with me.

My personal rule with making fun of countries is to stick to making fun of your own if you can.

There's things that have resonated with me over the years that have lead me to stick to making fun of my own country instead of hating on other people's countries. Some of the moments that resonated with me are the following:

Some Things that Resonated with Me

1. Jello Biafra told a story once where he went to Ireland to do a Spoken Word tour ... and he prepared a nice thing about Ireland's crazy religion feud between two factions of Christianity ... and  he thought it was gonna kill with the audience ... but it didn't. They booed him and yelled "WE WANNA HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT BILL O'REILLY AND GLENN BECK!!!"

Ireland just wanted to hear him talk shit about America and make fun of America  ... they were angry when he wrote and preformed a bit that lambasted their conservative religion feud. Ireland just wanted to hate on America and feel superior. They didn't want to examine their own problems.

2. Noam Chomsky used to come on Canadian Radio programs sometimes when I was like a young teenager. He'd come on and talk shit about America and how fucked up it was and the Canadian Radio hosts would just adore that to the max.

Then one day he threw them a fucking change up that floored them. He came into the studio and told the Canadian radio talk host something along the lines of ... "Hey, I just flew in and landed at that War Criminal Airport and boy are my arms tired!"

...and yo, the Canadian host thought about the joke briefly and replied with something along the lines like ... "You mean Lester Bee PEARSON AIRPORT!? ARE ARE YOU CALLING LESTER BEE PEARSON A WAR CRIMINAL!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOOOU!?"

Noam could talk shit about America and the Canadian hosts would adore it ... but one joke about Canada not being the saintly state it thinks it is ... and BAM .... they never had Noam Chomsky back on.

That struck me big time. The Canadians just wanted to hate on the Americans by having Chomsky on.... but they would not tolerate him saying anything negative about Canada. I found that so dumb by the Canadian Radio hosts.

3. Sticking with Canada (cuz it's my country I get to make fun of it), this jabroni Rick Mercer used to do a bit called "Talking to Americans" for the CBC, which was a formulaic bit inspired by Steve Allen. The modern version of the bit was created by the Howard Stern Show under the monicker "Homeless Game" and Jay Leno later did a version called "Jay Walking."

In this bit you talk to random people in the street and then edit out anything intelligent said by anyone and present a montage of the dumbest shit people said to the interviewer so the audience can thus laugh at how un-knowledgeable people can be about some topics. 

Basically, Rick Mercer would fly down to the USA to interview common Americans, ask them questions about Canada and then they'd edit together the "dumbest answers." The dumbest answers would be people who didn't know who the Prime Minister of Canada was or some lame-ass shit like that.

The Canadian audiences at home would laugh at how "stupid" Americans are. But... Canada is pretty inconsequential to American life in the whole scheme of things. If someone did this bit in Canada and chose some not-well-known country to Canada ... like say Nigeria .... and went into the streets of Toronto ... and asked people who the leader of Nigeria was ... I bet you almost over 99% of them would not know who Muhammadu Buhari is. Why? Because he doesn't have a big impact on their day-to-day lives ... just like a question to Americans like "Is Canada on the Metric system or another system" ... they might not know the answer to it because it doesn't really effect them in any way to know or care about what measurement system Canada uses or who the leader of some province is.

4. Two things that pissed me off about Canada's asinine feelings of superiority to Americans is how they demand for apologies at the slightest shit but would in the same circumstances would never apologize for anything themselves.
Deal with it - Canada.

Like last year Harold Reynolds said a small very tame joke about a fan at a Jays game that bobbled a foul ball ... he said something like .... "he's been playing too much hockey, haha." It was a very tame and not offensive at all joke ... but. ... he was trending on Twitter for a full week after and countless negative press articles were written about him. Eventually he publicly apologized to all of Canada.

Another time I remember, Robert Smigel did his Triumph shtick in Quebec City for the Conan O'Brien show .... and the whole province of Quebec considered that puppet's jokes as the worst thing that ever happened on earth. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was discussed at length at Quebec Parliament for a good week ... eventually ... Conan apologized to all of Quebec for Robert Smigel's jokes.

The Don Rickles of Puppets.
I was pissed at that because, during that year that Conan apologized was a year where Canadiens fans would routinely BOO the American national anthem at hockey games ... to the point where it was embarrassing and over the top ... yet you didn't see Quebec apologizing to America for its people routinely boo-ing the American National Anthem at hockey games ... but the Quebec Government demanded an apology from Conan O'Brien.

Yo, if I was Gold Glover and All Star Harold Reynolds ... I would have told Canada to suck my dick! I'm not joking. Not even joking. If it was me in Harold Reynold's shoes ... I would have told Canada to suck a whole EGG!

And Yo-Yo-Yo, if I was Conan O'Brien I wouldn't have apologized to Quebec on behalf of Robert Smigel ... I would have told Quebec to lick my stinky ASS! Yeah right. It's a damned dog puppet for fuck's sake.

5. The "CRTC" in Canada made a law many decades ago that things that are aired on National airwaves must contain a certain amount of "Canadian Content." In the old days no one knew what the fuck "Canadian Content" was so they met their quota in very tongue-in-cheek manners. The characters the McKenzie Brothers (Bob and Doug) were born on SCTV to meet their Canadian Content Quota for the CBC. They basically put two retards in tuques at the end of the show to talk about bacon and snow-mo-biles for about 45 seconds in order to meet their Canadian Content Quota and be allowed to air on CBC in Canada. Yes, that's how those characters were born.

Now a days ... still no one knows what "Canadian Content" is defined as but shows have methods of meeting it still. Now a days they meet the quota by making the hero characters Canadians and the villain characters American. So, you'll watch like the shitty Canadian rip-off of Law and Order and the lawyer is a sexy Canadian who manages to bust an American drug/prostitution smuggling ring. That's all you need to meet the imposed content quota ... you just have to make all the bad guys Americans and have heroic Canadians stop these evil doers from doing whatever it is they are doing in Canada.

Quebec does this too I notice. Except, in their case, they make all the bad guys Canadians and the good guys are French people. I watched this movie once from the seventies where this french guy wanted to own a diner but this Canadian english-speaking man kept poisoning the french man's mash potatoes to keep him from owning that diner. It was fucking funny to me ... but the target audience takes that seriously and really loves that shit.

You won't see Canada apologizing for the Evil American stereotype they run on its air waves. Canadians are not actually very nice. They just pretend to be.


That Jello Biafra in Ireland thing and all those silly Canadian examples is why I try to stick to making fun of my own home/where-I-live instead of other foreign/exotic places. I don't want to just hate on America and then sit back and pretend my country is some paradise. You don't get any heat when you hate on far off places either. If you hate on your own place you can get heat over that. So it's also cowardly to just make fun of far off lands instead of your own.

But I gotta bust off some 'pinions on this American Election, g. Because. Holy Shit. It's like the most fucked-up election in history. I'm obsessed with it. I read every article and every stat and every projection on it every single day.

I'm sorry. I know I should stick to making fun of shit in my own country/province (I live in Montreal by the way) but ... I can't man....


It's just so crazy this time around. It's genuinely in-fucking-sane, dude. It's fucking nuts this time around.

I'm gonna rate many (not all) of the candidates, so without any further ado ... here is the ...

Jabronies who dropped out won't be covered. That sweaty Jabroni Jeb spent like almost 200 million bucks on his campaign and is already Dead on Arrival. That's all-star inefficiency, man. His backers should sue his fucking ass off! Jeb Bush is the least cost-efficient campaigner for The President of all fucking time. Wow.

I'm gonna do the Repos first then the Demos. O-K?

1. Doctor Ben Carson (R)

Age: 64 human years
Sex: Male
Background: Brain Surgeon
Race: Black
Money People Invested in Him: 68 Million

You'd think this guy would be getting more votes. He's a brain surgeon turned Politician. You'd think he could have picked up some of Obama's supporters and made a run out of this ... but no.

My Opinion: Ben Carson loses points with me because he's kind of a Doctor Oz type guy ...  he was a legit medical man who ditched his profession to hawk nonsense. He's become the spokesperson for some odd alternative cancer treatments and all-around quack-nonsense. I don't think it's professional when medical professionals start doing all these snake oil shticks. Now he's done with promoting alternative silly cancer treatments and has become a full time Liar-for-Hire mercenary for the Republican Party.

His nonsense doesn't stop at medical related fields though. He's stated some weird ass shit over the campaign. I think he fell into the trap of trying to compete head-to-head with Trump by attempting to "out stupid" Trump (which is not fucking possible). Carson tried to counter Trump's silliness by saying silly shit of his own and I don't think it worked for him. 

His statement that the Egypt pyramids may have had grain in them is made fun of a lot, but I don't even think that statement was that silly. I remember in Civilizations II for DOS .... if you built the pyramids you got a granary in all your existing towns.

"Counts as a Granary in Each City" - Civ II

If the video game Civ II thinks the pyramids had grain in them then he's got at least a video game that agrees with him on that.

He's funny in the debates though. He didn't talk much in one of them and then tapped the mic and finally said something......"Can Someone please Attack me Please?"

He just wants to be attacked too. Why are they leaving him out of the reindeer games? I feel ya, Ben. I feel ya. If they let me be in the debates I'd throw some fatty attacks your way.

Charisma: 52
Comedic Tact: 82
Professionalism: 46
Trash Talk: 77

Aggregate Presidential Rating: 64 (D+)
Odds of Becoming President: Zero.

2. Rafael Eddie "Ted" Cruz (R)

Age: 45 robot years
Sex: Synth
Background: Calgary, Alberta
Race: Synth
Money People Invested in Him: 104 Million

Like Jeb, Ted Cruz is a highly inefficient campaigner in terms of the funds invested into his ass. Over 104 million for very little votes. He'll win in Texas but nowhere else. He's toast.

My Opinion: He's legally Canadian ... so ... I can make fun of him FULL FORCE and not hold back. Here goes...

Ted Cruz Sucks Shit!

First off, that character he does on stage? That's not himself. He's doing an act! Why would a dopey Spanish guy from Calgary talk like that? With that preacher's drawl for? Because he's doing an impression! He's doing George Bush 1. Here's two other impressionists doing versions of Bush 1:

Billy West:

Here we see Billy West (who I like but didn't agree with him taking credit for John K's Ren character on an episode of Conan one time)... pretending to be George Bush 1 golfing with the Greatest Band Ever ... The Ramones. Note the audio latency in his voice.

Okay, now here's Dana Carvey slicing off a Bush 1, check this out:

Dana Carvey:

Dana's doing Bush 1 to a bunch of Spring Breakers. Close your eyes, just do it. Close your eyes and listen. Who's talking? It's Ted Cruz! 

Ted Cruz is doing an impression of Bush 1 and its worked for him ... but I can assure you ... A spanish guy from Calgary wouldn't fucking talk like Bush One! It wouldn't happen. He's doing a heavy preacher character with complete drawl and trying to emulate the audio speech latency of George Bush One.

He's actually a pretty talented comic Ted Cruz ... but ... do you really want your President to be a talented mimic? A talented Canadian Mimic?

Charisma: 14
Comedic Tact: 89
Professionalism: 53
Trash Talk: 51

Aggregate Presidential Rating: 52 (F)
Odds of Becoming President: Zero.

4. Marco "Alex P. Keaton" Rubio (R)

Age: 24 human years
Sex: Male
Background: Family Ties
Race: White
Money People Invested in Him: 85 million bucks

The "Safe" candidate on the R-side, trouble is he's polling like shit and is just about toast. Oh well.

My Opinion: He's the safety man and he should have taken more states but ... damn ... Trump is steam rolling this kid, man. Fuck.

Don't do Speed anymore, Marco!
I like him though. Yo, I remember an episode with him where he has to stay up late to study for exams but he's so sleepy that he tried the drug known in the 80s as "Speed." At first it helps him to stay up and study for his exams but then the hard drugs eventually catch up to him and he starts wigging out like hard ...


He can't control his shit and then Mallory and Allan Thicke find out what he's been doing and they are pissed at Rubio so bad. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I vowed never to try drugs after that episode of Family Ties.

So I have to thank Marco Rubio for installing that life-lesson into my young fragile mind....

Charisma: 29
Comedic Tact: 67
Professionalism: 88
Trash Talk: 72 (he talked some fresh shit last debate. He said Donald pissed his pants!)

Aggregate Presidential Rating: 64 (D+)
Odds of Becoming President: Under 10% about

5. Donald Trump (R) 

Sex: Male
Age: 69 Dude!
Background: BiZness (with a Capital Z)
Race: The Orange Spary-Tan George Hamilton-nites
Money People Invested in Him: 27 million bucks

What can be said? This is the reason this election is so insane. He's literally insane. It's like some mad scientist made some potion that let Wally George rise from the dead in some cockamamie scheme to make a Zombie Wally George the President of the America. What in the actual fuck is going on!?

Yo. I don't know what to say. I don't. I really don't. I keep expecting the Kayfabe to end and Jake Roberts to walk out behind the curtain and DDT Trump to a standing ovation! I mean this is theater. It's fucking Stupid Performance Art is what it is.

I watch Trump in the debates and forget it's not theatrics. I keep half-expecting that Stone Cold is gonna burst out, chug beer, and preform a flashy clutch-hold on him.

I keep thinking that this is gonna happen.... but it doesn't!

You know, when it started, at first, I thought it would be super funny for a man who spray-tanned himself into George Hamilton to be the Leader of the Fucking Free World ... but it might just be because I don't actually live in the USA.

I was watching that great great show South Park the other month or so, and they hit me where it hurts. They did a show where a Canadian Trump becomes Prime Minister of Canada and it made me fucking think....

...I was like, Yo.... that would fucking SUCK and be SUPER EMBARRASSING if he was my leader. South Park fucking took me to school with that episode, it sure fucking did.

Now, in recent weeks ... to make matters more clear to me as to how embarrassing this situation can be .... The Canadian Watered Down Intellectual Property Infringing Canadian-version of Donald Trump says he will run for Prime Minister of Canada next 'lection. Americans know this CWDIPICvoDT from that show "Shark Tank" which airs in USA ... he's the bald guy known as Mr. Wonderful (not to be confused with Paul Orndorff). Yes, Baldy O'Leary wants to be Prime Minister.

I understand what South Park is trying to say ... because it is gonna happen to us up here in Canada now with Baldy O'Leary, and.... it's actually not funny at all. It isn't. It's actually fucking embarrassing... and I shouldn't laugh at Trump anymore because South Park is 100% correct ... it's not funny anymore. It's dumb.

This shit is cockamamie. Downright cockamamie! The only word left to use to describe what is going on is COCKAMAMIE!

...Donald Trump is a National Embarrassment to United States of America.

Charisma: 43
Comedic Tact: 105
Professionalism: 3
Trash Talk: 110 (Schlonged....he said, Schlonged. Huh huh huh huh-huh.)

Aggregate Presidential Rating: 65 (D+)
Odds of Becoming President: About 25%

Now the Demos.....

1. Hillary Roadhouse Clinton 

Age: 68
Sex: Female
Background: First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State, Member of the Obama Admin.
Race: White
Money People Invested in Her: 188 Million (She got the Fuck Money, baby. Green n' Black!)

Hillary is the "safe" candidate for the Democrats and she has the entire Democratic party and every D-Senator supporting her. She's who they want to battle the Resurrected Zombified Wally George. She has the entire Democratic party on her side.

My Opinion: I don't watch the Dem debates because they are as boring as watching caca dry ... so I don't know much about her comedic tact or trash talk ability. Being a career capitol hill player, she's gonna win the Professionalism category though. She's got experience at this political shit, she do.

I don't think it would be so bad to have a woman as President of It All. I think people worry because some of the precedents in the english-speaking world of Female Presidents have been bad examples.

Canada had a female president for like about a few weeks one time as an interim President after Brian Mulroney slipped on a banana peel and had to retire. She was a bland jabroni.

Britain though, they had a A HUGE JABRONI lady as President. They had that Margaret Thatcher witch ... who was basically the human equivalent of fucking DRACULA! That Dracula lady from Britain made it so a woman wasn't president of a country for a long time because everyone thought she was an evil blood sucking demon from the under-world.

Hillary is not Dracula. She's not very similar to Margaret Thatcher at all. She's a smart lady. She's got the jack. She would be a decent President. She's the safest and least insane route at this current juncture by all stretches of reason.

Charisma: 84 (she carry herself, she dignified when she carry herself, no doubt)
Comedic Tact: 43
Professionalism: 99
Trash Talk: 57

Aggregate Presidential Rating: 71 (C)
Odds of Becoming President: About 60%

2. Feel Da Bern Sanders!

Age: 74
Sex: Male
Background: Vermont
Race: Vermont
Money People Invested in Him: 97 million

It's the College Campus Pick to Click now that Rondolf Paul doesn't run his kook-fests anymore and his jabroni son Randolf Paul refused to say things as kooky as his dad did and has gone off to obscurity.

The Berninator is Berninating the countryside in the coveted Northern All-White No-Minority Liberal-Art-Degree-Having States and posing a major-enough threat to the safety of Hillary's campaign for Democratic Nominee.

He's already seized New Hampshire and installed his revolutionary fortifications there.

Will he be able to over-come insurmountable odds and become President of the United States of America.....?

My Opinion: Look, let me pre-face, okay?

America has a joke that Canada is the 51st State of the United States. It's a decent joke. I guess. On our end we have a similar joke that Vermont is the Whatever-ist Canadian Province (tenth I think, I think we have nine now). Vermont is basically a small Ontario town. Everyone's boring, everyone's pretty white, and the lameness is like off-the-charts!

Vermont is a slightly larger version of Scarborough Ontario ... in a cultural sense.

Thus, since Canada has a cultural claim to Vermont and Vermont is culturally technically a Canadian Province ... then once again ... just like in the case of Ted Cruz ... I have a loop-hole in which I can go FULL Akuma Cho-Jin Number One FORCE in my making fun of Bernard Sanders...

...because in a technical sense he's Canadian. Sorta.

He's more popular in Canada than he is in America. You can't go out or go online without meeting a Sanders Fan in Canada. Canada fucking loves this old bald guy.

Bernie's odds to win the Democratic Nominee were never very good. In fact they were quite terrible since the start. He's never been forecasted by anyone with political statistic street-cred to do well in this shit.

He's always been a self-fashioned "outsider" who revels in hating the Democratic Party. He never agrees with them, he doesn't work well with the other Democrat kids on capitol hill, he's basically an old grumpy man. 

He's spent his life hating on the Democratic Party ... and now all of a sudden he snaps his fingers and wants to be the leader of the party he fucking hates.

It's like if Fred Flintstone walked into a meeting of the Water Buffaloes ... just started talking shit to them and telling them he hates the Water Buffaloes and they are losers and crooks and that he's 100 times smarter than all of them.... telling them they should all be in jail and hung from their toes ...

...and then Fred Flintstone turns around and says to them all "Okay, I wanna be Grand Poobah of the Water Buffaloes" right after doing that... you think he's gonna be elected Poobah? No of course not.

He's losing the Super Delegates almost in a clean sweep because no one in the Democratic Party wants him to be their Poobah. At all.

I like this man, I really do.... but there's one thing about him that is very strange. He makes a big deal that he has raised 100 million dollars for this campaign.... which is a fucking lot of fucking money ... but, it is strange because he BRAGS that it's "poor" "working class" "families" that invested 100 million dollars in his campaign. The thing that's odd about this is ...

A) He never really ever had any concrete chance of being the Democratic Nominee ... so why waste 100 million dollars of working class families money for to try and be the Democratic Nominee?

B) His main platform is to tell everyone how corrupt the system is ... and what's his solution? To siphon more tax money from citizens into the system. How is that a sane solution? Why go on about how corrupt the system is if your solution is to raise the taxes of everyone in order to pump more of their money into what you're constantly calling a corrupt government system?

If your main goal is to raise everyone's taxes and collect more funds into the government ... then why make your main campaign talking point - how corrupt the government is!? Where did he go to campaign school? On the moon? He's saying basically ... "The system is corrupt so let's take more money from people and put it into this corrupt system." It's a very poorly presented campaign. It might be the worst ran campaign in American History.

(actually no, Jeb's 2016 is by far the worst ran campaign in American Elections History).

There's charities out there, you know. People who gave money to Sanders should have given that "27 Dolluuuurs" to a homeless guy in the street or a respected charity. That 100 million dollars he raised is basically flushed down the toilet in one of the worst ran campaigns in American History. If you wanted to use 100 million dollars to help the poor people in America maybe you people should have gave that 100 million dollars to the poor people of America and not a very old Bald Man to run a highly lackluster political campaign.

What did his campaign get with the 100 million dollars people invested into it? A dinner with Al Sharpton? A couple television commercials? It wasn't a very impactful campaign that he ran. His cost-effiency for dollars-to-delegate ratio is fucking bad ... and it's not rich people's money wasted in this case. It was down to earth hard working people's money that was wasted to run a "Mr Smith Goes to Washington" campaign when everyone else was running a carnival side-show.

I guess I'm just a bad person or something and a bad Canadian ... because I'm not "feeling the Bern" at all.

Charisma: 21
Comedic Tact: 27
Professionalism: 31
Trash Talk: 61

Aggregate Presidential Rating: 35 (F-)
Odds of Becoming President: About 0.0001%


Trump (Cdn)
If I wrote this without seeing that episode of South Park where a Canadian-Version of Trump becomes the Leader of Canada ... I probably would have ended it something like ...

"Woah, it would be funny if Donald actually wins. Heee heeeee....."

But, they made too many good points on that show and now I'm gonna end this way-too-long article like this ...

...Donald Trump should not be the leader of The United States of America. I think many residents of that beautiful and wonderful country would be embarrassed by a man, who's making a mockery of them, becoming their representative in Global Affairs. 

I think Trump as President would be a Disaster.


You know what WALLY? You know what!?

Stay in yer seat, Wally.
Stay in yer seat, Wally....


 Because You're a Disgrace to the Conservative Cause, Wally.

End Note (March 04 / 2016): After binge-watching a shit-ton of old Wally George Hot Seat over the last month or so ... I really should go and amend  an article entitled "General Retrospective: Who Will be Remembered as The King of Trash TV?" ... I should give a lot more credit to Wally George instead of just a slight mention. That show is soooo fucking funny and the set-decor is outstanding. From the Nixon shrine to the photo of John Wayne ... but the most beautiful piece of set-decor I've ever seen on a talk show is this wall hanging:

 It's in almost every shot because it's right behind Wally's desk and it's so perfect. It's so simple yet so true. If this is up for auction somewhere as an artifact/relic I hope it sells for a million bucks. I do.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Baseball: Re-Visiting Pronation

I wroted about Pro-Nation the other month or so.

This one: Supination Versus Pronation (Sept 3. 2015)

I wrote that mainly based on things I've read Mike Marshall write about as well as some other things. Mike Marshall has a free online book on his website where he writes about himself being his own test subject in the field of kinesiology over his baseball career.

My rule with strange unconventional data on the internet is ... first figure out if this person is saying whacky things in order to make money and if that's the case then be skeptical ... in this case his book on his website is totally free and incredibly interesting ... he wants people to read it and he doesn't want any money for this information. He just really wants people to know about Pronation, that's all.

Mike Marshall's free online book: http://www.drmikemarshall.com/FreeCoachingBaseballPitchersBook.html

When you read free data on the internet by interesting fellows, you may come away from it with a case of "View Point Shock" as Ivan Stang refers to the condition in his book "High Weirdness by Mail."

With Mike Marshall's Pronation book I think I did walk away with a bit of View Point Shock and the whole concept of pronation may have taken on some sort of ancient guru-like mythical proportions to it.

Like a hippie who learns about the Cosmos ... and walks away from it all like "whoaaa man, it's like, whooaaa man" ... I think I walked away from Marshall's book all like "whhooooa man, like Pronation, man! Like Whoaaa."

I still think it's a great book though. Don't get me wrong. There's just one thing I want to alter in that article I wrote. There was one factor that I totally didn't think of before making one of the thesis in it. I claimed that Japanese pitchers in the Nippon League's use of pronation style pitches more frequently (i.e. the Shuuto) was a factor in why Japanese pitchers required less surgery and were healthier during their careers.

There is a more obvious factor though that I failed to consider (as such).

Other Factor in Why Japanese Pitchers are Injured Less Often than the Ones in MLB

The screwball is still a great pitch and is proven by Marshall that the myth that it "destroys arms" is unfounded. He has adequately proven Supination does far more damage to arms than pitches that require Pronation to achieve their breaks. He has indeed proven that the screwball is no more dangerous than any other pitch.

It is no more dangerous ... but is it safer than other breaking balls? Possibly, yes. Yet, the claim that I made that it was highly probable that Japanese League Pitchers are not injured with the same frequency as MLB pitchers due to their use of more pronation break pitches, may not be fully correct. There's a great big factor that was not considered on my part.

The factor that was not considered was that Nippon League pitchers have a lot more rest time than Major League Pitchers. The Japan league over there starts in mid March and ends in early October, a bit longer than the MLB calendar. BUT, They only play 146 games as opposed to 162 games.

So, they take the same amount of time to finish one season but they play 16 less games. I was looking at the Yomiuri Giants schedule for 2016 and there's large chunks in some months where they have 5-7 days off in a row. You wouldn't find that in an MLB team's schedule.

Example month: http://www.giants.jp/en/schedule/201606.html

Having 7-10 days off per month is not uncommon at all in that league. It may be that Japanese pitchers lose less games to injury and require less surgery than MLB pitchers because they have way more time to rest their arms. It may just be as simple a cause as that ... and may not have to with Japanese pitchers use of pronation breaking pitchers.

Major League Baseball is looking lately at trimming the schedule but they are looking into that not to save pitchers arms but to have the season finish earlier (to avoid conflicting schedules with other pro sports teams and to avoid winter weather during the playoffs). So even if they end up cutting the schedule down it will not translate into more rest days per month for pitchers.

It might save them a lot of arm injuries if they trim the schedule down from 162 games but still run it from April to October.


Alright so Yes pronation is still cool and, No the screwball is not more dangerous than other pitches. It is not an "arm killer" or "arm destroyer" in the least.

But, the case of Nippon League pitchers not getting injured as often as MLB pitchers may have more to do with how many off days they get per month to rest their arms and maybe is not because Japanese pitchers throw more pronation breaking balls than MLB pitchers do.

I know in the Winter Meetings MLB was looking to trim the schedule down from 162 games ... but their reasons were not for arm health and won't give the player more off days but would make the season finish in September instead of October. This move would not reduce any arm injuries therefore.

It would be an experiment to see if they do trim the schedule but still do the league from April to October ... give a few more off days per month ... and see if injuries and surgeries come down for pitchers' arms. I don't know how viable that is though ... but it may indeed reduce pitchers injuries greatly.

Friday, February 19, 2016

RIP Tony Phillips: Was He the Most Under Rated Player of All Time?

Baseball Star Tony Phillips died of a heart attack today at the age of 56, may he rest in peace.

I just want to write a short article about him because, as a fan of baseball stats, I consider him a guy who probably has a legit chance of being the Most Under Rated Player of All Time.

Let's look at as his career stats first.

Position(s): SS, 3B, 2B, OF ... very versatile. 

Plate Appearances: 9110
Runs: 1300
Hits: 2023
Doubles: 360
Triples: 50
Homers: 160
Runs Batted In: 819
Base on Balls: 1319
Steals/Attempts: 177/291 (60.8% success rate)

Avg.: .266
: .374
SLG: ..389
OPS: .763

Awards and Accolades: None What-So-Ever

That's a pretty decent career that he had and I almost find it shocking that he was never elected to even one All Star Game or ever won any sort of award of any kind.

I'm not saying he's a Hall of Fame caliber player but he only got 1 vote in total when his name came up and did not warrant a discussion of his candidacy.

How Come No One Remembers Tony Phillips as the Star that He Was?

I think I have the reason why and it is something that comes up when I write those "Tim Raines for Hall of Fame" articles every year.

Back in the days that Phillips played in the 80s and 90s when you watched baseball on TV the station would put a stat line overlayed on the screen for every hitter during their first at bat (and then what he did that day for the rest of his at bats). This stat lines would always be in bright yellow font for the categories and white font for the numbers and the categories were always without fail...

1. AVG
2. HR
3. RBI

Those are the metrics that everyone was told to take as what was important for a player to do in order to be considered a good player. Despite being a star player, Tony Phillips DID NOT excel in those three categories and therefore no one who watched baseball ever thought he was as good as he was. He'd come up to the plate and they'd see ... let's take his last at bat of 1996 when he played Left Field for the Chicago White Sox as an example.... People watching WGN baseball with Hawk and Wimpy back in '96 would have seen Tony Phillips walk to the plate and this stat line would appear on the screen as he took his practice swings in the box....

1. Avg: .277
2. HR: 12
3. RBI: 63

Fans at home would look at that back in '96 and say things like...

".277 ? Heck, that's not that great. He's not that good. He can't hit that well."

"Only 12 homers? That's not that much. He's not a good power hitter."

"Only 63 Runs Batted In? That sucks. This player sucks."

...and those fans would have been correct. BUT, that's not what made Tony Phillips a star player. That stat line does not tell you that Tony Phillips walked a league leading 125 times that season! A hundred and twenty five times! If you're new to baseball stats what does that means? It means 125 times during 1996 Phillips reached base without making an out ... yet those 125 instances are in no way reflected in that archaic stat line of AVG/HR/RBI.

Phillips had a .404 OBP in 1996 and was hitting ahead of the South Side Sluggers ... Mr. Big Hurt Frank Thomas and Robin Ventura. His walks and decent speed helped him score 119 runs that year. When you're hitting ahead of Frank Thomas ... a walk is a pretty big deal. If Hurt homers or doubles next at bat ... you score a run.

This was the case for Tony's entire career.... he played for six different teams over his 18 year career and managed to score 1,300 runs. That's quite a lot of runs. He had above average speed (career high 19 stolen bases in 1990 for the Tigers) and was frequently on the bases. He ranks 126th all time in Runs Scored ... only 125 players have scored more runs than him in all of history.

On top of it all, he was a switch hitter who could play well in almost every single position (except catcher and pitcher) making him an asset on any team and could almost fit any role they needed him to fit.

It's not a stretch to consider Tony Phillips as the most under rated baseball player of all time, it really isn't. No one remembers him as being a great ball player but he definitely was.


Tony Phillips is probably the greatest baseball player who never got invited to an All Star Game.... at least from the era that I watched baseball in. I'm sure there's other candidates for that title but from all of the ones I can think of and that I'm familiar with ... I think Tony was one of if not the most under rated players of all time. He's not a Hall of Famer but he was definitely All Star Caliber ... though he was never considered as such in his playing days.

For those Montreal baseball fans that read these articles on this site, Tony has a small place in Expos history. He was drafted by Montreal but traded for Willie Montanez (who in 81 at bats with the Expos had a .460 OPS with Zero Home Runs). If anyone compiles a Worst Trade in Expos History List ... you have to include Phillips for Montanez near the top. It wasn't a great trade.

Rest in Peace Mr Tony Phillips.