Hi, my name is D and this is my writings on subjects. I'm no rapscallion or anything at all. If you want to you can read my writings on subjects if you have free time. If you want to argue with me or call me names then please comment. Negative feedback is very welcome...I love dat shit. Me? I'm not even a noun, I'm a fucking verb, dude.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Kookery Gone too Far: When the Insanity Isn't Funny Anymore...

I've wrote a lot of about "kooks" and people on the "fringe" in this blog,

1. In Defense of Human Kookery (I liked this one but it never got many hits at all)
2. Rating some Kook Shows
3. On my Favoritest Kook of all...Wiley Brooks

I actually really like Kooks in many ways. Sometimes in the flurry of insanity found in a 10,000 word manuscript of restless nonsense a couple of ideas might pop up that are pretty interesting (though 99/100 of the ideas of a kook-a-script are gonna be insane). Even the worst kooks have high comedic value so even to the craziest ones have a silver lining in the fact that you can laugh at how nuts they are.

I have a real cut-off point drawn in the sand while reading kook writings though. When I come across something which meets this cut-off criteria the kookery in question ceases to be amusing. What is this point of no return that separates a human's whacky beliefs from being amusing to being not amusing?

The line is drawn when the person or group in question tells their readers to cause harm to themselves or others...that's where the line is drawn. That's when the text/article/book/etc stops being funny.

In the case of Wiley Brooks, I think he lost a lot of his humor when he wrote an article telling his followers (I hope he doesn't actually have any I really do) to light themselves on fire to train to enter the 5th dimension....however I still found myself still laughing at it. In my mind, which is infested with rationality, I cannot even fathom a person reading that article and actually lighting themselves on fire in the hopes of turning their blood into "gold plasma liquid light." I can't even imagine a person actually trying breatharinism...I didn't believe anyone could be dumb enough to believe that's possible.

Then you come across articles like this: (http://www.theguardian.com/world/1999/sep/28/millennium.uk)

In "Let Them Eat Air" the Guardian reports,

"...[Death resulting from] complete abstention from food and drink. If that is what happened, she will not have been breatharianism's first casualty. Last summer Lani Morris, a 33-year-old Australian, died in a Brisbane hospital after following the regime. It has also been linked to the death in 1997 of Munich kindergarten teacher Timo Degen, who was 31."

-The Guardian, Sept. 1999

Let's see here, at least 3 people have died from believing they could live without food or water. I have to re-align my thoughts now. I have to throw away the belief I have that "no one is stupid enough to try this shit."

It's a shame because that fact makes Wiley's kookery less humorous. Breatherianism has crossed the line from being hilarious to being dangerous. By telling people to not eat or drink water in order to be healthy you are causing harm to your readers/followers....and that's the line that when it's crossed the humor is lost.

This extends to all beliefs too from religious, to nationalistic, to sports rivalries.

Is religion cool? Yeah, but not when religious leaders tell you to harm yourself or others. When a crusade, jihad, or wild jewbaree breaks out...then your beliefs have crossed the line into dangerous and violent territory.

Is nationalism cool? Yeah, but not when you love your "country" so much that you villify and attack people from other "countries" then your belief has crossed the line into the danger zone.

Are sports rivalries cool? Yeah, but not when a Giants fan and a Dodgers fan get into such a fervor over their sports beliefs that they take out knives and have a nasty knife fight that leaves one man dead...then it's just silly and fucking crazy.

(see: http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_25397362/giants-fan-cleared-dodger-fans-fatal-stabbing-da)

Is the Organic Food Movement Going Past the Breakin' Point and Crossin' da friggin' Line?

It's "aura" is very "positive"
The organic/natural food kooks are usually pretty cute and funny. It's those people who think the path to happiness is to not vaccinate their kids and to only eat quinoa grown from the bottom of the ocean where obviously the dihydrogen monoxide toxin levels are not powerful enough to give the quinoa a negative aura.

The fact that they are not vaccinating their kids and are thus letting polio, measles, and a myriad of other easily preventable diseases find their way back to regions where they were eliminated...means they already crossed the line of not harming themselves or others a LONG TIME AGO.

Now it's a like a big limbo game for the orgies/naturoes. The question now is how low can they go? How far past the line of rational thinking can they get to?

The big 3 bozos in the orgy/naturo movement are Joey Mercola, Mehmie Oz, and a young man who goes by the monicker of Mike Adams. Recently the latter of the trio wrote a kook piece so crazy that the organic/naturo movement cannot even see the damned line anymore.

Exhibit A (published on July 21, 2014): "Biotech genocide, Monsanto collaborators and the Nazi legacy of 'science' as justification for murder"

(note: the article in question is being edited almost every hour though archived versions of it at every stage are available at www.archive.org or similarly by using Google Cache). 

In this close to unreadable article, this Mike Adams character, who's crazy site I might remind you gets about 8 million unique hits per month, says anyone who criticizes him is a "nazi collaborator" who should be MURDERED by the followers of the organic movement.

This article is atrociously odd. It has dozens of pictures of Hitler and swastikas, it has a fucking picture of "roundup" insecticide next to a photo of dead Jews piled on each other. This is not funny kookery, not in the least. No no no no no. This is a very sick man. Whether he's saying things like this to promote a book he's got coming out or whether he actually believes this stuff, it does not matter, this is a very very sick man.

I don't think many people think using the holocaust is an okay thing to compare bug repellent to. That's not even the craziest part of this kook piece though. This Adams character is telling his whacky followers to "track down" the people who criticize him and literally KILL them. What the fuck? These hippies aren't so fucking cute anymore, wow, they're fucking psychopaths.

I only get a few hits here and there on this here shitty blog but for the record I have criticized the organic/naturo movement here before in an agricultural article...

This one: "Farmin': What's it All About?"

Jeepers creepers you guys, I never in my wildest dreams thought that writing an article making fun of organic farming could get me fucking domed/iced, yo. It's days like this that I'm thankful this blog never got popular...or my damned life might be in fucking jeopardy at this moment. Shiiiiiiii-it.

Even if my dumb blog was popular I wouldn't be scared. What is an army of hippies gonna actually do anyway? If they showed up at someone's house who criticized them (and apparently the homeowner in question deserves death for that)..all you gotta do is throw some fucking bird seed on the ground and when the hippies go to peck at it to their hearts content you just jump in your hotrod and just hit the rocky road to safety, brutha.

Look, I'm not a fan of a big corporation like Monsanto, or Apple, or what have you...I know they have a lot of money and that they push the little guys around and I hate them for that just like you do. I know where to fucking draw the line though. I can't even imagine what the fuck is going on in this Mike Adams character's skull.

What the Fuck is Going On Here?

I have one theory of what da fuq is goin' on here, and to me this is the only logical thing I can arrive at. Then again, I had trouble believing people actually died from trying to eat air...so...I don't know...maybe there is no explanation...maybe Adams is just a full-fledged whack-job.

Either way this is my rational theory of why this fucker wrote this shit.

Judging from the comments on the article there's not many people who read it who seem eager to track down his enemies and maim them. Most people in the comments actually seem to be doing what everyone else who read it is doing...saying to themselves..."WHAT THE HELL IS HE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!?"

Hey, it's hard to change an organo's mind. If you wanted to take on an organic-loon/conspiracy-theorist and tried to reason with them, you'd get nowhere fast.  Now, this mess of an article by Adams has probably scared away more people from the organic movement than anyone else ever has.

Taking that all into account, this is what I believe were the events leading up to this MESS of a kook article being published onto the internet. This is what I believe happened....

Speculation on Events Leading up to the Most Insane Internet Article Ever Written

Joey Mercola, Doctor Oz, and Mike Adams were all assembled in their lair one lazy Sunday afternoon (I'm assuming it's a lair similar to one the bad guys on Super Friends hung out at with all these crocodiles everywhere and things like that).

They are all up in this lair being all evil and everything, when out of the blue Mike Adams catches Doctor Oz bangin' his wife and is all like...

Adams: "Yo bro, don't do that shit to my wife, guy!"

Oz: "No way dude, I'll bang who I wanna bang cuz I'm Doctor fucking Oz!"

Adams: "You suck man! Yo, I'm gunna fucking sabotage our whole operation just to get back at you!"

Oz: "No way, bro! Don't do that! We gotta good scam going, don't do it! I am sorry and I will now cease from doing sex to your wife!"

Adams: "Too late, hombre. The damage is done...if you loved our cool scam so much you should've thought twice before you sexed up my wife."

Oz: "The repercussions of my mistake shall haunt me in the future..."

To get back at his colleague, Adams writes the most asinine and insane article anyone's ever written in order to sabotage the organic movement and sink their ship. That's THE ONLY rational explanation as to why someone would publish an article THAT CRAZY to the fucking internet for millions of hippies to read.


I sincerely hope this was a "trojan horse" style article to damage the reputation of the natural/organic movement because if it wasn't...then this cat Mike Adams is the fucking craziest loser on earth.

Here's hoping no one takes him up on his order to kill his enemies because due to an article I've written on this here blog even I would be considered "an enemy" of Natural News Dot Com (and very proud to be one by the way).

It's not that I'm scared of dying or anything. I'm pretty chill with death and all that shit. It's just that dying at the hands of a horde of feral vegan losers is not the honorable death I pictured myself having. My fantasy death in my dreams has way fucking more ninjas, robots, dinosaurs, clowns, and naked women in it...

...and certainly no vegans. Yo.

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