Read that 2012 article here: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2012/02/open-letter-to-montreal-canadiens-fans.html
It's the article with the most reads ever on this dumb blog, I don't think it was that good, re-readin' it now I like the Guile joke, whoever made that gif is a funny person. I like the riot-domes joke....that's sorta funny.
Look, I take my prognostications pretty serious, so if they don't win the cup this year I'm gonna look like a darned fool is what I'm gonna look like.
I doubt any Canadiens read this blog but if they somehow find it on google or something....here's a small pump up for the whole team. I hope it gets them 75% pumped....exactly the right level of pumped. Not too hot, not too cold....just right like baby-bear porridge. If you are a Canadien then just scroll down to your name and hopefully the pump-up works for you. Your paragraph will be a short assessment of your play over the season, a report card, and a mini-pump.
Read this shit with this song on so it is more good to read!
Ooooh that song pretty good...
Subban? The man's a legend, he doesn't give a fuck. He'll beat you in a variety of ways...he'll beat you on D, he'll beat you on offense, he'll slap you in the mouth. Subban? He's a legend, man. He's crazy. He got 60 points this year and was plus 19! The guy's amazing....he's the greatest hockey man! He doesn't care! He plays like 30 minutes a game! He's a living legend! He's like a crazy man! He's a walking Norris Trophy is what this fucking guy is! He's a walking Norris Trophy! That's insane! He's the greatest! Holy crap! He's a LEGEND!
This man!? He's the best! He's actually the greatest! He's the quiet leader of the whole entire fucking team, he doesn't give a fuck! He leads by example....he leads by ALL the EXAMPLES! Who him!? The guy's a maniac, he's crazy! He is like the smartest hockey player in the world! His Hockey IQ is like a billion million! That's a huge number! Holy shit, you guys! Markov? He's fucking amazing at hockey....oh my word! They should nickname him The General because that's what he is....he's a Hockey General leading by quiet leadership...and leadin' with examples! Many many many examples! Yeah.
Он очень талантлив
Oh my word....this man is nuts, he's a nut-ball, he's a damned crazy man. He's a wild horse on the fucking loose! Oh wow...this guy is fucking nuts! He even got into Milan Lucic's head! He's a feisty fucking guy is what he is! He'll fuck you up....he doesn't care. He'll punch you in your fucking face, he doesn't give a shit. He's a nutcase....he'll kick you right in the ass....DIRECTLY IN THE ASS! He'll even punch you in the fucking ass! He's NUTS! A FUCKING NUT BALL! He is from like the weird part of Russia where they plant potatoes and AK-47s in the ground and farm potatoes and machine guns like they're vegetables! Those guys who come from there!? They barely even give a fuck!
Он Сумасшедший !
Nathan!? The guy is a YOUNG GUN....he's literally a GUN and is YOUNG. He's like 22 years old! That's nuts! He's like the youngest guy and he's like the craziest GUN! He can become a GUN just like Megatron can! He can become a fucking GUN and he's YOUNG! He's like Megatron if Megatron was a young man instead of a greasy fuckin' robot! Holy fucking shit!
Mr. Sergei Gonchar
Greg? This guy knows how to do it! He'll hit you and he'll fuck you up....he doesn't care....he barely cares all...in fact...he doesn't give a fuck at all...not even one. He's a friggin' maniac with a heart of gold! It's nuts! He's very very nuts!
The Fuckin' Forwards
LISTEN UP TO THIS FUCKING SONG! WHY DON'T YOU!?
On je skvělý !
Maximum Max Patch oh RETTY
Oh this fucking guy right here!? Oh shit....this man'll score like 80 goals a year because he barely even gives two fucks about it! He's a sniper....he's a fuckin' sniper....holy moly! Oh man...I bought that MAX 67 fucking cheese burger they sellin' at MacDernDern's lately...that shit tasted so fucking gooood! It had these weird red sticks in it! They were like spicy red french fries or something! It tasted soooooo gooood....I STILL REMEMBER EATING THAT BURGER LIKE IT WAS YESTERADAAAAY! IT HAD A LOT A LOT OF MAYONAISSE, OH MY WORD! IT FUCKED ME UP! IT CHANGED MY LIIIIFE 4 EVER! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I LOVE HAAAAAMBURGERS!
Oh my gosh. This guy plays with all his heart! What he lacks in size he makes up in heart like that guy RUDY from that movie RUDY starring that dude RUDY! Rudy was being a punk but Charles "Rock" Dutton told him to shape up and then RUDY did! In real life....the Mayor told Desharnais to shape up...AND HE DID! NOW HE'S AMAZING! HE'S A SLICK PUCK HANDLER! HOLY FUCK! WHAT IN THE WOOOORLD!? HE'S LIKE GLEN METROPOLIT TIMES FIFTY!
Jake De La Rose
This mother fucker is from FUCKING SWEDEN! THAT'S WHERE INGE HAMMARSTROM CAME FROM! Jake is 400 times more powerful than Inge Hammarstrom! If Inge was a STORM of fucking HAMMERS....as in....hammers raining down from the sky killing everything in its vicinity...then Jake is like a hurricane of POWER DRILLS RAINING DOWN ON THE FERTILE LANDS! DRILLING EVERYTHING! A TYPHOON OF FUCKING POWER DRILLS! ASSHOLE! FUCK!
This man wears number 8! He looks like Cam Neely. He fucks all the mother fuckers up! He kicks people in the fucking ass! He kicks them in the ass HARD! When he kicks you in the fucking ass...you fucking feel it! You feel it....in your stupid ASS! YAAAAAAAAA! YAAAAAAA! He'll kick ya in the butt...he don't care! He's a mental case! WOW! From the coast to the coast...he's even more powerfuller than SPACE GHOST! HE'LL KICK ZORAK IN HIS ASS! HE WILL PUNCH LOKAR IN THE FACE!
OH MY LANTA! THIS GUY SCORED A GOAL IN GAME ONE! THAT'S FUCKING COOOOOL! HE MIGHT SCORE EVEN MORE! THAT'S AMAZING! HOLY GOD DAMNED SHIT YOU FUCKING GUYS! I HOPE HE GETS A STANLEY CUP!
Diamond Devante Smith-Pelly
This man!? OH SHIT! HE'LL SCORE ON YOU. He will score on you! Get ready asshole...cuz he's gonna score on you....right on your damned net. Get ready! Holy fuck he's gonna score on you...really hard. Oh shit....he's gonna shoot the puck right past you! What the fuck are you thinking? The dude's gonna shoot goals on you! YES! HE'S BEEN WATCHIN SLAPSHOT STARRING PAUL NEWMAN ALL WEEEEEK LONG! HE'S READY TO START SCORING FUCKING GOALS LIKE NED BRADEN and SHIT! YA!
Lui? P.A.? il va magané tous les gars! Estie! TABARNAK!
Everyone's gonna get Maganed.....FUCK EM ALL!
Him!? Are you crazy!? HE'S AMAZING! HE WINS ALL THE FACEOFFS ALL OF THE TIIIME! HE LOST HIS EYE AND THEN CAME BACK TO PLAY AGAIN! HE'S AMAAAAAZING! THAT'S CRAZY! HE'S LIKE A PIRATE! HE'LL PLUNDER YOU! HE'LL PLUNDER YOU AT HIGH SEAS! HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE CUZ HE'S THE GREATEST! HE WINS FACE OFFS! ARE YOU LISTENING!? THE GUY'S AMAZING! HE CAN WIN AT HOCKEY! HE'S A VETERAN WHO TEACHES WISDOM TO THE YOUNGER GUYS! YEEEEESSSSSSSSS! I SAW HIM A PEEL PUB ONCE EAT 18 PLATES OF RAVIOLI! THE GUY IS A BEAST! HE'S THE GREATEST GUY!
RIP KENNY JENSEN!
That Carey Price!
Carey Price!? He's the best! He's one of the greatest goalies of all time! I can't believe it! HE wins cups! He's good at it! WOW! He is quick like a fox! He's smart like a dolphin! He's unbreakable! Ya can't break his concentration! He's indomitable! Absolutely MENTALLY INDOMITABLE! HIS MENTAL FACULTIES ARE AN IMPREGNABLE PYRAMID OF DIVINE CONCENTRATION! IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE! This guy is in The Zone.
That's a polish name! His grandpa probably fought in world war 2 for Poland and slapped that motherfucking bitch Hitler in his bitch-ass mouth! His grandad probably kicked Hitler in the fucking ass! THAT'S AMAZING! HE'S A HERO! HE'S A FUCKING HERO! YEAH!
He's listening to da fucken song! What the fuck is wrong witchu !? Are you stupid?
This is the guy who knows all the tactics! He knows what line to put out against who! He's the best at it! He's so tactically sound it's unreal! He's like the Zhuge Liang (諸葛亮) of Ice Hockey. He has a powerful-ass mind! He knows about all the tricks and all the deceptions. He has his finger on the button! He knows what button to press! He's in control of these damned situations and shit! He's the man with the plan. He knows what to do and WHEN!
This mother fucker right here? Dan Lacroix? This maniac!? He got 466 penalty minutes with the Granby Bisons back in '87! THAT's FUCKED UP! THAT'S THOROUGHLY FUCKED UP! This guy probably killed a guy that year! He probably suplexed a dude! He probably ate a guy's heart! How the fuck do you get 466 mother fucking penalty minutes!? He's gonna punch the other assistant coach of the other team in the throat! HE'S A NUT CASE! WHAT THE FUCK!?
Jean Jacques "mother fucking" Daigneault? You never heard of this guy before? Are you on drugs? He won the cup in 1993! He held the cup over his fucking head! OH WOW! This guy can coach his ASS OFF! HE's NUTS!
|YEAH! JUMPIN' IN THE FRIGGIN' AIR! LOOK AT DIS SHIT!|
In all seriousness, if they do win the trophy this year....please don't riot up the place. It's kind of embarrassing when you fanatics set the shit on fire and shit. I agree it looks cool....but in the end it really isn't. It makes us look like bad and everything with all the rioting and this and that.
|Whoever made this GIF knows what they were DOING!|
|I made dis one...it's awezome.|